Episode 13 - “Getting to the Bottom of Things With Pete” and co-host Tyler
Join Dave and guest co-host Tyler as they listen to Pete’s interview and get inspired to wade into the deep end (so to speak) and discuss the nitty gritty realities of bottoming. Be warned, this is not a conversation for those who are squeamish about butt stuff.
Pete is from Lancaster County, PA and was teased early on for not knowing what a BJ was. It means you get pleasure from blowing on things, right? Isn’t that how the sex works? After experiencing a three-way with a guy and a girl from his high school theater class, Pete eventually landed solidly in the D column and ventured out on his own during college to a Boston gay bar where he met Alan, a less-than-patient top. Thankfully, he got the hang of things and now enjoys being a guest star with gay couples who like to play together.
Tyler and Dave discuss Pete’s interview and their play-by-play game plan for having sex with both first time and experienced bottoms that make a pleasant experience for everyone involved.
This week’s lunchtime poll: What’s the most unique placey you’ve ever had sex? Tweet or DM us at @fruitbowlpod and we will share your answers on our next show!
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
My name is Pete. I am 43 years old. Originally from Pennsylvania, Lancaster county.
The first time I learned about sex was in elementary school. I'm walking home after school with a bunch of friends. Probably, maybe the fourth grade is when I think I considered it. And some friends were talking about BJs. And I was like, "What's a BJ?" And everyone turned to me and gave me this look like, "You don't know what a BJ is?" And I'm like, "No." And they're like, "Well, it stands for blowjob." And I'm like, "Okay, so?" And they're like, "Well, what do you think it is?" And I'm like, "I don't know." And through more teasing, I came to learn that it had to do with a penis and something that you did with it. And they're like, "It's called a blowjob." So for the longest time, I thought sex meant you blow on a person. You'd literally just blow and that was fun and exciting for some reason.
My dad was a health and physical education teacher. So the other time I remember learning about sex is when he sat me down on his bed, in his room, and basically gave me the birds and the bees sort of story. And kind of told me the nitty-gritty. I don't really remember much about that experience, but I do remember sitting in his red bedroom, on his bed, feeling kind of weird about talking about sex. I think my mom probably made him do it. I don't think she wanted to tackle that subject. So he did. It wasn't a lesson on sex as much as where babies come from. It was about how you insert a penis into a vagina, and then nine months later out pops a kid. I don't think we talked about romance or passion or even really relationships or anything of that sort. I think it was very, just nitty-gritty physical. I don't even recall talking about kissing or anything of that sort. I'm sure I learned that just through television.
It probably would have been those early eighties sitcoms like Facts of Life and Different Strokes. You know where, what's his name? The young kid was like nearly molested by the neighbor guy. That one sticks in my brain as something that was really controversial and shocking to me.
I had a crush with the neighbor boy who lived up the street. He was kind of dirty and lower class kind of, and lived up at the end of the block. And we used to play together. We'd get together and go in the field and run around and stuff like that. And there was one time that I slept over. It was a sleepover and we slept in the same bed, in our underwear I think. And we both popped boners and started to kind of touch them, play around with them. And then at one point he reached over and basically punched my penis really hard. And it was painful, I was in sheer utter pain. And I got really, really pissed off at him for that. And I think it sort of ruined my crush because I thought he was an asshole.
I was obsessed as a kid with the international male catalog. Which, you know, I think I bought something once and then they just start coming like every other week or something like that. And I literally, next to my bed, had a stack of international male catalogs about this big. And it's the same pictures over and over and over again. But I looked forward to that arriving every single week. And paging through it and looking at all the underwear with the visible penis lines and all of that stuff. At the time, I think I just was sort of oblivious to the fact that, especially that it was a catalog of all dudes. I think I was oblivious to the fact that that was a weird thing or a controversial thing or dangerous thing. And so I didn't care. I definitely was interested in fashion and clothes and things like that. My parents knew that. So I just sort of chalked it up as, "Hey. Yeah. I'm just exploring the world of fashion." As well as Sears underwear catalogs, you know, things like that. I definitely looked in print media at first. And also then going to local newsstands and lingering over sort of the Playboy and the Playgirl sections. And catching glimpses of that.
I think I first masturbated in the sixth or seventh grade, which I don't know if that's late or not. Well, I grew up in a very Lutheran sort of background, so going to church every Sunday. And masturbation, well it wasn't a thing that one was supposed to do. So it definitely was a secret. I don't remember ever talking to anyone about it. It's interesting because nobody teaches you how to masturbate, you just sort of figure it out. Or I guess maybe nowadays you sort of watch other people do it on the internet and stuff. But at that time that didn't exist. So it was in the bathtub, taking a bath. And it started with nice just like rubbing, turned over and rubbing against the bathtub. And that feeling good and then realizing I could just manipulate it with my hand. It's interesting how naturally you just sort of, your hand goes there and you just start manipulating it. And then it feels good and so you explore that.
But I discovered in my parents' bedroom this massaging tool, this thing that you plugged in that had a special head. And you were supposed to massage your body with it. But I discovered that if you put it on your dick, this white stuff sort of would start bubbling up. And that felt good. So I explored that for a little while, secretly when my parents weren't around. I would steal their massager and take it into my room. It was underneath sort of their bedside table. I don't really know what happened with that. I don't want to know.
My first time having sex was technically 17 years old. It was a threesome with myself and a man and a woman. Two friends of mine, in the backseat of my car, parked behind the mall at like 10 o'clock. Yeah. I was involved in a theater project at the time and the three of us were all actors in that. And after rehearsal one day, we just went for a ride in my car to the mall. And parked and climbed in back and started messing around. It was fun and interesting. I mean, we didn't go crazy. I don't think we had any penetration or anything of that sort.
But I do remember at one point we became aware of the fact that there was police, or some sort of security guards, patrolling the parking lot. Because there's these like moving lights off in the distance. And we all quickly had to lower ourselves and try to hide so that it just looked like an empty car. Of course that's when I realized that all of the windows were completely covered in steam. So if that wasn't a dead giveaway, I don't know. But nobody came by and bugged us. So we were able to sort of finish our thing. Yeah. And it was interesting. That to me was really illuminating. To be able to sort of mess around with a guy and mess around with a girl and sort of compare and contrast those two things. And even then I definitely had a sense of, "Oh, when I'm messing around with a guy, this is a lot more interesting to me."
I was a freshman in college in Boston. And I was pretty adventurous and I decided I was going to go to a gay bar. Which I was totally too young to do, but somehow they let me in. I don't remember the name of the bar anymore. But I went there and was basically a wallflower. I was like standing up against the wall, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to go buy a drink or anything like that. And this guy named Alan sorta came over and recognized that I was probably young and impressionable and fresh meat. And he picked me up essentially. And basically said, "Do you want to come home with me?" And I was like, "Okay." So I got into his car and we drove to his place.
He worked for a local grocery store chain called Star Market, where he was in charge of the bakery section. And were kissing, messing around. He throws me on his bed. And he starts to sort of go down there, you know to stick something in me. And I kinda had to stop him and say, "Hey, I have to confess something." And he's like, "What?" I said, "I've never really done this before." And he got super delighted and was like, "Ooh, confess, confess." And said, "Okay, I'll take it easy." And I was like, "All right." And so then slowly he penetrated me, which was excruciatingly painful. Like I remember literally flinching in pain and throwing him off me. Like, "No, don't do that." And he's like, "No, no, no, no. Just breathe, you can handle it." And ultimately I did handle it. I can't say I really enjoyed it in the end. I mean, I knew what I was doing. I knew that that did happen. I just hadn't done it yet. So I wanted to experience it. So I kinda just like gritted my teeth and grinned and beared it, and got through it all.
He tried at least to take it slow. In retrospect, some spit or lube would have been nice maybe. And he was also about 10 years older than I was. So I think he just was really turned on by the fact that he was essentially taking somebody's virginity. We dated casually for that fall semester, I think. And then I kind of just ghosted, I kind of just stopped being in touch with him. But yeah, we went out on several dates. I remember going to a holiday party with him where I basically was his arm candy. And I think everyone was just like, "Wow. You're robbing the cradle, aren't you Allen."
This was kind of recent actually. I was engaging with a gentleman who was pretty well endowed, which I like. And I was going down on him. And he was getting close to coming. And I swear in the moment just before he ejaculated, his dick grew even like three more inches longer. And it was down my throat, and it literally gagged me and I threw up all over his dick. Because it had nowhere to go. And he completely wasn't aware that I had just thrown up on his dick. And so the second I did, I pulled my head away and was like, "Ehh." And he kept trying to shove my head back on it, to like clean it up. And I'm like, "No, no." He's like, "Come on, come on." And I'm like, "No, I'm not going to suck on my own vomit right now." And he's like, "What are you talking about?" "I just threw up on you." And he's like, "No you didn't, that's just come." And I'm like, "Darling, you didn't come that much." It was kind of disgusting. It was really, really disgusting. And mortally embarrassing to just throw up on someone's penis, you know? He was a good sport. He kind of just laughed it off and got up and cleaned himself off. But yeah, that was horrible.
My best move in bed. I mean I generally bottom a lot. And I'm told from lovers that I have a pretty aggressive taint. Like this ability to sort of squeeze and contract and do some sort of internal contractions that just kind of send people wild and crazy. I don't even know quite how I do it, other than just sort of regular strong breathing. I think that's probably my specialty. And when it comes to being a bottom, whatever position, I'm the game. Up down, in out, on it, underneath it. It's all good. It's all fun for me.
I like group sex, at least two other people. Which is, I guess fitting considering that my very first time having sex was with two other people. So my favorite thing is basically to suck on a dick while getting fucked. And I like being on my back, with sort of my legs up in the air kinda. And I like someone else just sort of like hovering over me. And this cock and balls just sort of slapping in my face. Or, you know, just kind of dipping in and out of my mouth. That's really hot.
Here's what I like about threesomes. There's always at least two things you can be doing. You can have something happening to you, but then you can also be doing something to somebody else. So I like that duality, being able to give and receive at the same time. In general, I make a choice to have threesomes with two people that I'm into. Right? If I'm not really into one of them, it doesn't work so well. I definitely make a point to sort of spread my attention around. So if for the last five minutes it's just been me and this one guy predominantly doing something, then I generally try to give him a pause and focus on the other one. And then otherwise you just kind of put yourself in a position where you're kind of open in a lot of ways. In a lot of angles to people sort of, you know, going places. So I definitely like to throw myself kind of right in the middle of that whole scenario. And definitely, making out I feel is a really important part of a threesome. Making sort of that strong, passionate connection with someone. And then sharing that with another person and then all three of you together, for example. And that sort of gets us into the same place, and sort of trusting each other. And then from there, you just sort of get playful and let it happen. I often have sex with couples. Men who are together, married or what not. And so I find that super hot just to sort of see how they engage with each other on a regular basis.
I think I put a lot of pressure on myself early to sort of lose my virginity, to sort of explore the whole sexual world. Because it seemed like that's what everybody was doing or that's what I was supposed to do. And while I don't think I had sex too early or anything of that sort, I think my early sex was for the sake of having sex. Not because it was pleasurable or I was turned on by it or I was really into that person. So I think I would probably tell myself it's okay to slow down. It's okay to wait. It's okay to make a choice to go to a sexual place when you want to. Not because you feel like you have to.