What is FRUITBOWL?

Talking about sex is often difficult for queer people. Most of us were raised by parents who would not dare bring up the subject of sex - queer OR hetero - and most cultures, communities and social media platforms censor honest discussions about it. Additionally, many of us grew up in families and cultures that are hostile towards queer people, forcing us to seek answers from pornography and explore sex with an enormous amount of secrecy and shame.

FRUITBOWL is a judgement-free platform for honest, frank conversations about queer sex. Our goal is to film at least 100 interviews with a diverse cross section of queer voices in an effort to destigmatize queer sex and reveal the fierce individuality, strength and independence of queer people.

Professional Honors

In 2018, Dave created a short documentary titled PORN YESTERDAY that featured 18 of his friends describing their first discoveries of queer porn. It won the Jury Award at the 2018 HUMP! Film Festival and toured the country. Since 2019 he has produced over 60 podcast episodes and two more short docs from the interviews: STEPHEN & JAMES: BEST GIRLFRIENDS (2020) and MORE THAN A FEELING (2023). Together, the shorts have screened at over 30 film festivals worldwide including Frameline (SF), Outfest (LA), NewFest (NYC), Provincetown International and HUMP!

In addition to a robust listener-supported Patreon community, FRUITBOWL has been sponsored by both SCRUFF and SPACES, two social media apps designed for the queer community. In 2020, FRUITBOWL was awarded a CityArts grant by the City of Seattle and in 2022 it was invited to participate in a docu-series development intensive workshop sponsored by CNN ORIGINAL SERIES and FILM INDEPENDENT.

Grant funding has allowed Dave to train and pay professional editors to help him create episodes and continue the process of collecting additional interviews. He is currently at work creating a docu-series that explores the surprising similarities and stark differences in the coming of age years of a diverse cross-section of queer people.

The Interview Process

Talking about your sexual history with a stranger and having the conversation recorded and released to the public may seem like a terrifying idea, but most of my former interviewees have described the process as being very liberating and therapeutic. I’ve also discovered a few protocols that help interviewees feel more comfortable with the process.

1. I provide a comprehensive list of the questions I will ask before I arrive to shoot the interview (see list below). This allows people to remember events from the past as well as decide what they will and will not disclose.

2. Even though I have interviewees sign a release form, I require everyone to listen to their edited interview before it’s released to the public. After their review, interviewees can remove any part of the interview that they are not comfortable revealing, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

Are you interested in learning more about the interview process? Drop me an EMAIL and let me know where you live, your age and a little about your background.

The interview Questions

Below is the list of questions I ask every interviewee as well as the answers to some of the Frequently Asked Questions.

1. Describe your background. Where did you grow up? What was your family like? Was your community accepting of queer people?

2. When and how did you first learn about the concept of sex?

3. When did you learn about queer sex?

4. Did your parents ever have “The Talk” with you?

5. How did you educate yourself about sex?

6. What was the first thing you did when it came to experimenting with your sexuality?  

7. Who was your first crush? 

8. Describe the first time you had sex.  

9. When did you first fall in love? 

10. Describe a sexual encounter that you remember fondly.

11. What’s the most embarrassing sex experience you’ve had?

12. What’s your best move in bed?

13. Have you experienced any disappointments or challenges while navigating your path to sexual discovery?.

14. How different is hooking up now as compared to when you first came out? 

15. If you could go back in time and tell your virgin-self something valuable you’ve learned about having sex, what would it be?

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is Fruitbowl? Fruitbowl is a podcast series and documentary film project that features interviews with queer people about their early social/sexual development and stories of first and worst sex experiences as well as information and advice about sex that they’ve picked up over the years.

2. How do the interviews work? Interviews usually take about three hours (including equipment setup and break down) and are recorded in people’s bedrooms using video & sound equipment for inclusion in the podcast and documentary film. You will need to sign a release form before the interview.

3. Why are you doing this? Too often, mainstream media is afraid of discussing queer sex. As a result, many queer people get their information about sex through the (often distorted) lens of pornography. Fruitbowl is a storytelling series (similar to Ted Talks, NPR’s StoryCorps or The Moth) for those of us who want to explore the unique ways that queer people navigate their sexual path: from realizing we’re gay to knowing which boxes to check on our dating profiles.

4. What if I don’t want to be filmed? My preference is to shoot both video and audio in preparation for both the podcast (audio) and documentary film (audio and picture). However, if you don’t want to be on camera, just let me know and I will do an “audio only” interview.  Audio only interviews will be featured in the podcast and parts of the interview could be included in the documentary film as voiceover. 

5. Do I have to use my real name? Only first names are used in both the podcast and the film; however, you can use a pseudonym (fake name) if you like. Voices will not be altered or disguised. It just sounds fake and interrupts the intimacy of the series.

6. What will you ask me? I’ve found that our best interviews are ones where the subject has had some time to think about their answers. To that end, you can read the questions listed above. Confirmed interviewees will get a more detailed list of questions prior to the interview. Keep in mind that some of these answers can be quite short if you want, but it is helpful to prepare to talk about a few stories from your past.

7. Do I have to answer all the questions? I prefer a comprehensive interview that contains answers to all the questions, but you don’t have to answer anything you’re uncomfortable with.

8. What are you looking for? Detail is essential to providing an honest and revealing interview. I want FRUITBOWL to represent the queer sexual experience in all its richness and complexity so specific and detailed answers make your interview compelling, personal and unique. It’s okay if you want to write out a few answers and keep the notes handy for the interview.

9. Do I get to approve my interview’s content? Yes.  I am NOT interested in posting an interview that you are not 100% comfortable with letting the world hear. You will be required to listen to the edited interview before it is posted and any changes or omissions you want will be made NO QUESTIONS ASKED. Just remember: Once an episode is posted on the podcast, it can’t be edited or taken offline. This is because podcast files can be downloaded and stored locally by listeners (instead of just being streamed.) Once it’s out there, it’s out there forever.

DIVERSITY STATEMENT:  I acknowledge that the first 20 interviewees for FRUITBOWL’s first podcast season skew mostly in favor of gay white men, so I’m taking this opportunity to encourage queers of all types and definitions from all different parts of the world to please contact me if you’re interested in contributing your interview to FRUITBOWL. The more diverse our interviewees are, the better the project will be!