Adam grew up in what he describes as a “Rated R household.” Prince was an early emissary of carnal pleasure who made a deep impact on Adam as a future professional musician. His parents split when he was age 2 but his mom remarried and both his dad and his stepdad represented two different versions of masculinity. But homosexuality was still a taboo subject so Adam had to educate himself through early experimentation with friends and porn.
Read MoreMike maintained a rigid moral code and was skeptical of other queer people who had more loose definitions of relationships. It wasn’t until he lived in New York City that he became friends with other queer people who were in non-traditional partnerships. Now he lives in Seattle with his two boyfriends and most of his friends have very open perspectives when it comes to love, friendship, sex and relationships.
Read MoreAs a kid, Donovan loved to dance and even took lessons beginning at age 9, but growing up in San Diego, he soon realized that the many military bases in the area fueled a toxic culture of masculinity and homophobia and any behavior outside the norm put a target on his back. Once, after seeing a movie, he was called a faggot and assaulted. So even though he had some early experimentation with same sex intimacy, he didn't officially come out until college.
Married now and living in Palm Springs, Donovan is in a committed, non-monogamous relationship but, even as an experienced lover, he still has had struggles with consent and standing up for himself. He describes one time when a partner didn't respect his boundaries.
Donovan has some great advice when it comes to hook ups, preferring connection over speed and convenience. Kissing and eye contact is sexy and - trust him - don't ever use Vaseline as lube.
Read MoreAndre can’t remember a time when people thought he was straight. Raised as a girl by an independent single mom who took a “tough love” approach to parenting, Andre grew up with a rich inner life but had few friends. “Lesbean” was the preferred insult in grade school, so Andre made up a fictional boyfriend in order to avoid talking about sex.
Even after entering college and coming out as trans, Andre identified as asexual until he met his first girlfriend when they were the only ones who showed up to a sober vegan pride after party.
It wasn’t until he moved to Chicago and lived alone that Andre realized he was free to explore sex on his own terms. He informed himself about kink, explored bathhouses for the first time and his first experience bottoming came from an unexpected guide.
Now that he has more experience under his belt, Andre has decided to stop being the token “first trans male experience” for sex partners and has dedicated himself to being a sex-positive advocate for trans rights.
Read MoreDan grew up just north of Seattle and his adolescence was uniquely queer-positive in that it featured supportive parents and plentiful queer friends even in high school. But Dan had his share of challenges including insecurities about sexual performance, penis size and a long journey to discovering his preference for polyamorous relationships.
An early education in flirting came courtesy of a friendly dominatrix. And Dan describes some fun role playing as a "boy" with his Daddy and Big Brother partners (who are both younger than he is). Dan also provides a super-detailed, step by step description of his cleaning out process that's his "me" time and allows him to be the best bottom that he can be.
Thanks to the first-ever Fruitbowl sponsor, Scruff Dating App.
Read MoreKarilla’s story, in so many ways, reflects the common stages of personal growth that so many queer people go through: in our early years, insecurity about our sexuality and adults who fail to help guide us; during high school, sitting on the sidelines and watching as our friends perform all the typical hetero coming of age rituals; in college, painful memories about first love and the lessons we learn from heartbreak; and choosing our family and finally accepting and loving ourselves. And did I mention that she’s had some really fun hookups?
In my introduction to this episode, I talk a little bit about my efforts to interview more female-identified people. It’s my hope that, over time, as the FRUITBOWL episode archive grows, more cis women will hear episodes like Karilla’s and trust me with their stories. In fact, I’m determined to collect at least 20 interviews with female-identified interviewees before I even think of starting to edit the larger FRUITBOWL feature or TV series. So if you or someone you know is femme identified and interested in sharing, please reach out to me via the contact portal on the https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/contact.
FRUITBOWL is produced independently without financial sponsors, advertising revenue or corporate media support. Every interview is recorded in-person, on location in each interviewee’s home and production expenses including travel, accommodations, equipment rental, editing and post-production are paid for out of pocket by Dave Quantic, FRUITBOWL’s creator.
The only consistent financial support (currently $137/month) comes from FRUITBOWL’s 24 Patreon members. Help support FRUITBOWL’s mission of documenting and sharing stories about queer coming of age by becoming a patron! A minimum $5 monthly donation allows patrons early access to episodes, behind the scenes updates and exclusive video content that is not available to the general public. If we hit $375/month I can start to train an assistant editor to help me produce the episodes. Learn more about how to become a patron at: https://www.patreon.com/fruitbowlpodcast
Do you have a business or product that you think FRUITBOWL’s audience would like to know about? Underwriting/advertising rate sheets are available for advertisers and underwriters as well as production support. For more information, visit: https://www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Underwriting fees are 100% tax deductible through a partnership with Northwest Film Forum’s fiscal sponsorship program. FRUITBOWL RECEIVES NO DIRECT FUNDING FROM NWFF, only the use of their non-profit status to receive tax deductible donations. For more information check out: https://nwfilmforum.org/education/artist-services/nonprofit-fiscal-sponsorship-filmmakers/fiscal-sponsee-fruitbowl-oral-history-queer-sex/
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Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork was created by Patrick Stephenson of Bearpad! https://bearpad.storenvy.com/
Check out host Saira B’s awesome podcast about erotic fan fiction, FREAKY TALES 4 U! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/freaky-tales-4-u-a-queer-fanfiction-show/id1463915467
On iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fruitbowl/id1468574292
On Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3LVzFe2HSEWCcWtP9OvSbQ?si=aopBYD9oTOqdXKZ7ZZCmXg
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