There’s a tendency to devalue first times that originate online. There’s no meet-cutes; no love at first sight. Often, the getting-to-know-you window happens remotely. Most of them are one-offs we will never see ever again. But, like it or not, this is the way most of us find first time partners now though there are signs that dating apps are losing users and people are starting to rely more on in-person opportunities.

The most compelling part of first time internet hookups is when we finally act on the desire that burns deep inside of us and we decide to finally follow through. Expectation collides with reality. We might meet sex partners who have the potential to excite us and fulfill all of our fantasies or they could be spectacular flame outs that send us into shame spirals. Most hookups land somewhere between these two extremes. We just never really know which it will be. Either way, they’re proof of the boundless optimism and fierce bravery of queer people.

Read More

As I was building this second high school hookup episode, I realized that many of the stories have striking similarities. People who grew up thousands of miles apart, often in different decades, had similar coming of age experiences. So I decided to create an entire episode featuring story pairs that are like fun-house reflections of each other; further proof that, even though queer adolescence is often full of deep insecurity and loneliness, there is likely someone out there who is going through the same thing you are.

Read More

For queer people, our sexuality is not something that just switches on one day. It reveals itself over time - usually during adolescence - and the experience is often internal and private. Our first explorations into physical intimacy with other people often serve as a kind of test to see if we like it and help us start to define the role that sex will play in our lives as adults. High school is “go time” for these explorations and life quickly becomes a steaming stew of hormones, insecurities and hurt feelings. These first experimentations with friends or acquaintances and people that we know happen to many of us, yet we rarely share these stories with each other as adults.

In this first of four episodes dedicated to first times, Dave collects stories from thirteen different interviewees whose first time was with people they already knew.  Next up will be another high school episode followed by one about internet hookups and a fourth “first time” episode that collects stories about old-school “cruising.”  So prepare yourself because things are going to get … awkward.

Read More

Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify.

Who was your first crush? That first intense infatuation with someone special? A famous actor? A singer? An Athlete? Or was it someone you knew like another student at your school, a hot neighbor or a teacher who gave you extra attention? Whoever it was, first crushes are often the first indication that we have queer tendencies. This can be validating but also a little scary.

In case you’re a size queen and want an extra long version of this episode, our Patreon subscribers will get exclusive access to the UNCUT version of this episode that is 30 minutes longer and includes every single response to Dave’s questions about crushes. Learn more at Fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.

Read More

America’s puritanical roots are never more exposed than they are when the subject of "self-love" is discussed or, more often, avoided by schools and parents. Some religions explicitly discourage it. But when it comes to our coming of age years, coming is often top of mind and a favored topic in the backs of school buses, online chats and locker rooms.  "Self-love" is an intensely personal experience that can often reveal our sexual preferences producing euphoria as well as deep personal shame.  This episode features stories about "self-love" and the stew of emotions it often conjures up as well as some awkward social situations.

Read More

America’s puritanical roots are never more exposed than they are when the subject of masturbation is discussed or, more often, avoided by schools and parents. Some religions explicitly discourage it. But when it comes to our coming of age years coming is often top of mind and a favored topic in the backs of school buses, online chats and locker rooms.  Jerking off is an intensely personal experience that can often reveal our sexual preferences producing euphoria as well as deep personal shame.  This episode features stories about choking the chicken, flicking the bean, diddling the skittle and the stew of emotions it often conjures up as well as some awkward social situations.

Read More